I’d like to write
But it’s a fight
Wading through
Wasted days

I’d like to sleep
Instead of weeping
Away afternoons
Waiting for morning

I’d like to keep
The secrets quiet
But all the stories
Cause riots in my head

Don’t hide
Write and fight
Sleep and weep
Keep and tell

I should
I would
But I don’t
Want to
Need to
I just should

Sinking into someone else’s thoughts
Grasping at what another wants
Letting go of everything I think is me

What’s left?
Does anyone care?
Who will I be?

Writing it out, words unclear
Dreaming another life unlived
Looking in the mirror in the woods

Flee
Fight
Embrace

Always hugging it out in my head
Waiting is dying slowly alone
For people who never shared this home

Let go
Be true
Fuck it

A chill breeze blows. No
Coat, no scarf, no jeans—nothing
Hides me from its kiss.

Squeaks and slaps with each pass

Plastic and skin, again

Thumping a not-quite rhythm

Breaths hitching, students sniffling

Lead filling line after line

Fingers searching for rhymes

Eyes watching the time—

When is it over?

It has barely begun.

Everything is shifting
My temper withers
As the weather improves
The dark holes open up
Dragging into naps on sunny days
Trashy plots pull at my mind
Wasting time that has other uses
I need to be adulting properly
Doing this and doing that
Not fading from what I don’t want
Not hoping for what I don’t need
Everything is shiftin
But I can’t see

It’s all good all the
Time to rewind the
Lies because you’ll always love
Me—the voices in my
Head were long gone. Dead.

You make me sad
With the halfhearted glares
The huge sighs are lies
You tell the world about
Stupidity (fear)
Inability (practice)
Future failures (try)

You make me sad
With your nose in the air
The mocking comments don’t hide
The line between hubris and doubt
Nothing is deserved (work)
Nothing is fair (perspective)
You are not a victim (envy)

You make me sad
Giving yourself away
True love doesn’t exist
And abuse isn’t a myth
Boyfriend
Girlfriend
One night again and again

Be true doesn’t mean be cruel
To others or yourself
Be kind doesn’t mean bend down
For everyone else
Be strong doesn’t mean drag down
People who do or have or are

You make me sad
When you won’t

To move worlds with a lack of rhythm

Graceless, tasteless, still not less than

I am never waiting or trading up

Because I am enough to

Save myself from the light

Everything’s too bright

They flash their love and shove

My one-minus in my face—as if

That matters in the tatters of life

Stand up, fall down, rise again

Always enough for the win-loss-win

God forgive my sins and help me

Find the strength to be better

Imagine dragons flying just below the ceiling
While shadows try to gaslight the innocent
With rock anthems blaring out the windows
The switches are flipped, d.c. to a.c., avoiding
The mega death brought by beetles, needles,
And nickels back from the grave with none to save
Next to the park Lincoln waits for rolling stones
As easy as every rapper never had it in white rurality
Really they’re getting their a capella on like the Penatonix
Waiting for the greatness of some random
Beyonce or Kendrick or Jimmi Hendrix’s ghost
To discover their hidden beats—in reality
Talent plus hours plus common courtesy
A little bit of luck, pluck, and applied skill
Get knocked down, get up again
Be so sorry and start reading if you want
My breathing to calm, my shouts to mellow
Hello, world. I’m a little—wait for it—